Would you be ok with a stranger ‘reminding’ your kids about general social rules in public places? Especially if you’re not around?
I had a major rant about this topic because of a recent incident at the pool where older kids were shoving the little ones around and not waiting in line at the slide. The most frustrating part was the parents’ reactions. One said that it was up to me to teach my child to be more assertive. Another said ‘they’re just children… they can learn later’. Mind you, some of these kids were around 7 years old, and my child did say ‘no’ but he’s a tiny 3-year-old and none of the kids stood long enough to see him wagging his tiny finger.
When I discussed this via Instagram polls, I got many replies from parents about how common the problem was. Many parents have resorted to focusing on their kids and making them more assertive, but they still worry. It does feel like the law of the jungle and you end up focusing on training your child to not get bullied, instead of trying to change the system.
One solution, though, is to treat Public spaces as opportunities for more adults to intervene and keep the law. Aristotle talks about discipline as originally imposed from the outside (parents, religious institutions, teachers) before it is gradually internalized to become self-discipline. But can’t random strangers also be part of this reinforcement?
I know some parents might worry that these strangers might interfere with things they shouldn’t (ex. Telling your child not to dirty their clothes or not to eat a certain food), but if this interference is restricted to general rules like safety, equity, and basic moral laws, then wouldn’t it be an opportunity for your children to get some much needed reinforcement? You might have told your child a million times not to throw trash all over the place, but one stranger might have an immense impact as well.
💡 This works in some cultures… would it work in ours?
Reine's Organized Chaos 