To Grandma Weddo

Why don’t we have eulogies in our culture?

For someone like me, who expresses herself through words, I need that sense of closure. So I guess a blog would have to do.

To grandma,
Who had the imagination to write a love story about the time when Charles de Gaulle saw her in her yellow dress in Damour and fell in love with her. But that she refused him and picked by grandpa instead. (And never let him forget this for the rest of his life)!

To grandma,
Who lived a life quiet. About the things she most wanted to talk about. Oh she nagged about all sorts of crap. But kept silent when she saw the stupid bickering all around. Hoping each of her 10 kids and their spouses and 4-5 grandkids (on average) would resolve it on their own. Oh grandma, you should have spoken. You had so much to say!

To grandma,
Who was so rebellious in spirit that you’d have done wonders if you had been born at a different time. I sit and write this while unconsciously shaking hands with passersby who are here to pay their respect. And I wonder if any of us really knew you.

To grandma,
Who reminds me so much of myself. With her anxieties, her worries, her endless desire to be present. To be seen. And yet she lived her whole life on the sidelines. Someone’s mother. Someone’s wife. Someone’s grandmother. Never her.

Even in death, one can’t be the center of attention.

So this one’s for you grandma. Wish I could say this out loud. For now, this blog will have to do.

p.s. To answer the question you would definitely have asked: yes, we’ve eaten. We’ve had coffee. We’ve had a banana. No. We’re not going to starve.

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On My Mental Health

I have always kept my hair straight, though it’s naturally curly.
I don’t know how to sketch, but I’ve perfected the art of drawing lines.
I’m an onion with layers, but someone told me the best part lies at the center.
I’m a control freak, but it seems to help people around me (or so I like to believe).

These are some of the statements that comprise my “self”, but they’re not me. They’re just extremely important parts of me.

As licensee of TEDxLAU, I’m usually working on a number of tasks, but my favorite is always the curation of ideas. A “curator” in TED lingo could be a fancy word for the person who decides on the talks, speakers, and overall theme of the event. And this time, I knew it. We had to talk about mental health.

They say one in four people suffer from mental distress, and I could easily identify the people around me who were the most vulnerable. But undoubtedly this led to a lot of self-analysis (just ask the rest of the organizers!): though some people are obviously in need of support, others are so much better at hiding it and putting on a “brave face” – a mask.

Why do we mask our feelings? why do we draw these lines? why do we find it so hard to let go and open up? to show that supposedly sweet core?

I, for one, am scared to death of that possibility. I’ve lived my whole life in a state of transition – with very little stability save for my mum’s presence by my side (Yep, I have daddy issues, but who doesn’t?!).

Is my onion layering causing me distress? I guess a therapist might tell me I do have plenty of bugs to work out. But since I’m a control freak, I’ll be my own therapist for now. My layering helps me cope. My layering helps me remain strong enough to support everyone around me when they need it. But my layering doesn’t allow me to live the moment to its fullest potential.

Though I would like nothing more…

I cannot seize the day for I may not know what tomorrow may bring.
I can only analyze the day in anticipation of what may occur tomorrow.

Does my story have a happy ending?
Well.. I’m a fully functioning member of my community, and despite my many hurdles, I’m blessed in so many ways! And this self-assessment due to our upcoming event has allowed me to realize that I seem to surround myself with people who wear their hearts on their sleeves – watermelons who open up and show you their core, and there’s no mistaking who they are after that – and it is these lovely souls that allow me to soar high from time to time… only to quickly get back down to earth (for you never know what might happen!).

Yours sincerely (very sincerely),
a realistic dreamer – AKA the onion.

photoshoot1Photo taken during a TEDxLAU photo-shoot promoting the mental health salon by the lovely and talented Zayna B. Ayyad.

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A skill every teacher should have!

Should every teacher have a degree? Well… in this day and age, you’d hope! But does that fashion out a great educator? Of course not! 

I have the degree. I have the emotional intelligence (or so I hope). I’m a communicator. 

But what is my ultimate skill as a teacher? 

…I’m curious enough to discover greatness. 

So many students pass through my classes…some who have learned the rules well, and know how to play the grades game… others who need help along the way. who need someone to clear the path with them…and it is these others… these incredible finds that keep me thrilled! These students who want something, but find it so elusive! It is here that I see potential. 

Some might critique me as being too naive, as constantly finding something to admire, but it’s true! I see people as pieces of a puzzle, with every person having a little bit to add, some more than others. 

And this blog post is a tribute to one of these pieces…one who turns 20 tonight… one who’s finally getting the recognition he needs to find his path…one who has begun to realize the unique glue which binds him to others and places him firmly within the puzzle. As we all complete a beautiful vision together. 

 

One more thing…the minute you find yourself judging a person and consider them as lacking in value, take a brief moment and stop and consider this: maybe YOU aren’t using the right measuring tape. Maybe YOUR vision is the one that’s skewed. And get some glasses for people’s sake. 

 

 

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Don’t use Darwin’s name in Vain!

…And yes. I’m aware of the Biblical implications of my title.

When you ask some people why they act in ‘selfish’ ways, why they are out to fulfill their own self-interest, many might attribute it to a ‘survival of the fittest’ strategy.

I’ve been reading a book on evolutionary biology, an extension of Darwin’s theories, and the biggest insight so far is the following:

- it isn’t about the survival of the fittest individual but survival of the fittest GENE.

What does this imply? That sometimes selfless acts on an individual level might be just what you need for that particular gene to survive!

Selfless animals that act upon the gene causing them to scream out might suffer on an individual level when a predator finds them, but that gene called out a warning to other animals in the vicinity, inevitably creating a proliferation of that particular gene through saving all those lives.

In other words, we as humans should start wondering whether the way we’ve misunderstood ‘survival of the fittest’ might be causing us to act in contrast to actual evolutionary biology, and whether we’re slowly decreasing the number of genes that can allow us to actually survive.

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El Assir is just a name. Shit by any other name could still destroy a country!

I used to post on a political forum…for years all I’d do is have political debates until my energy slowly started to dwindle. After all, it was the same fight, the same argument.

And I took a decision… I’ll remain active, but for education, social causes, attacking the problem from within its components, rather than a collision with the corrupt political system. And I became equally guilty. I have shied away from active political work, from going down to the street because of my frustration. I know so many are in my shoes.

But when I see educated individuals, people within my own milieu, taking sides and bashing one another in support of someone else, I can’t keep quiet. How can I when a close friend considers it right to criminalize one side while totally ignoring another?

El Assir is just a name. Shit by any other name could still destroy a country!

I love this video by Chi N N. They hit the nail right on it’s rusty disgusting head.

To the “educated” Lebanese, take 30 minutes out of your day and make sure you watch this! You owe your country that much. You owe your children some heroes to take them into the future. God knows you’ve destroyed so much in their lives already. Try to stop blaming one side and show them the bigger picture!

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Education isn’t a Happy Meal Drive Thru!

Though I still maintain some element of autonomy in my classroom, I dread the day when that will no longer be the case, when we hand out education at a college level as if we’re delivering fast food “happy meals” – quick, easy, relatively cheap, but so bad for everyone involved.

Whenever an administrator mentions the word “uniformity”, my heart skips a beat… is this the beginning of the end? is this the time when I will no longer do things my way? when my classes become a simulated replica of everyone else’s?

I am a fighter, but watching other dedicated teachers, like this one who resigned in the video below, makes me wonder if we’ll have that opportunity to fight in the next few years.

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Intaliqi: Running this Sunday!

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And here’s the Q&A that I had with the organizers:

Q-Why are you running the marathon to support Intaliqi and what does it mean to you?
A. I participated in the Beirut Marathon, and having an event dedicated solely to women meant so much more! I remember hearing of this back when I was at TEDActive in California, when the idea was still in its early stages, and I’m so glad it reached its implementation stages!

I have a personal connection to Intaliqi. Its motto of empowerment and leaping forward resonates. I also like to actively support NGOs that are just starting out, because this is when they need the most encouragement. I’m sure intaliqi will live up to its name!

Q-What message or advice can you give to socially disadvantaged women?
A. Any message might sound a bit cliché, but I get the best I can do is say: you’re not alone. Every single one of us has reached a point of complete loss, and we picked ourselves up. So can you.

Q- What message do you have to everyone else regarding girl/women power?
A. Girl/woman power is only as good as human power. It’s our humanity that makes us powerful, and our realization that we don’t live in a vacuum. That we need to embrace others to truly live life to the fullest.

 

My utmost love and respect to the incredible Lynn Tabbara who has organized all of this! An inspiration to us all!

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The Art of Public Speaking: One Essential Ingredient

I’ve taught so many public speaking courses, worked with numerous speakers and speech-writers, and I don’t know why this has only fully dawned on me today. 

Regardless of the amount of work you put into your speech, there is only one ingredient:

Care about the message more than your own personal anxieties. 

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http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonnygoldstein/3877740779/

 

While speaking, the internal monologue is usually as follows:

- what should I say next?

- will they like me?

- Am I looking ok? 

- Will I forget my next point?

- Will the video work?

- Will people leave during my speech?

- etc…. 

And it is only when you get out of your own head that you can truly connect with the audience. 

How can you do that?? 

Simple. Learn to CARE about your example! Care about your main point! Understand why your audience NEEDS to hear what you have to say. 

Realize that the speech isn’t about you (though it is your time in the spotlight!). Once you get that the speech is about the idea, then you will shine even more…and the spotlight will adore you for it! 

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A story of a magic carpet.

Right from the beginning…when my brothers and sisters were only beginning to take shape, when our contours were being mapped out and our sizes redesigned, I knew i was destined for greatness. 

While most of my siblings could only dream of inhabiting confined spaces, and, at best, living in a happy home, I knew I had a different story to tell. Something within me was always aware that my life would be magical. 
 
It could have been my fabulous red color, but no, it was much more than that. There was something within every fiber of my being that cried out for fame! 
 
And I got it. 
 
In 2011, some strangers came in, browsed around the entire place, and their eyes lit up when they saw me. I heard a woman say: that’s it! she’s perfect! I didn’t know that I would develop very special bonds with that incredible woman. 
 
And everything after that became a whirlwind of emotions. I have seen huge halls, with hundreds of excited people rushing to their seats. They all wanted something, and I was at the very center. I have seen fabulous stages, but always, I’m at the center. 
 
Though I knew I must have been important, it wasn’t altogether clear in my red’s eye, until I heard the first TEDx Talk! Wow! I was flattened! And for a carpet to claim she was “flattened” is an amazing feat! 
 
Those people who needed my presence, who were told to constantly remain within my boundaries were telling amazing tales of inspiration, creativity, and beyond. If only my family could see me now. 
 
Sadly, though, my life in the spotlight had to end sometimes. I witnessed incredible days at TEDxBeirut, but the show came to a close after the day was over, and I had to wait for the next annual event… but I always wanted more. More talks. More ideas. More showbiz! 
 
But the problem with my line of work is that it’s quite inconsistent. The days of light were met with many in complete darkness. 
 
Now, yes, I’m an attention seeker (ok…an attention whore), but come on! Who amongst you wouldn’t want that sort of greatness? 
 
Life had its ups and downs…literally. I’d be taken up from storage, placed in some extremely weird moving contraptions (I can tell you about one story of coming on a bus from Tripoli to Beirut, but let’s save that for another post!!!). 
 
Yet, despite it all, my worth was constantly acknowledged. From TEDxBeirut, to TEDxAzmiStreet, to TEDxLAU, organizers kept asking for me! Kept desiring my presence in the middle, the very center, on every stage. And my proud owners at TEDxBeirut were only glad to offer their support, and share me with the world. 
 
This is my story. A story of flight. of magic. of love. 
The story of TEDx in Lebanon. 
 
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What our friends are up to… Intervention: Urban Renovation

Reine Azzi:

An incredible Initiative. True Urban In(ter)vention in Beirut.

Originally posted on Mind Your Humanity:

The beauty of a city revitalized. The captivating power of beauty revisited.

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A young group of designers have taken it upon themselves to make change “happen”. A team of enthusiasts wanting to turn different corners around Lebanon into a new “beautiful”. The Dihzahyners have chosen to revisit stairs, walls, and everything with a story to tell, brush off the dust and bring it into the era of color.
Lana Chukri was a speaker at TEDxLAU’s first main event: “Unleash Your Passion”. She spoke on behalf of the Dihzahyners, and introduced Paint Up as an initiative. The passionate speaker encouraged the audience to take action just as they did.

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Watch her talk HERE.

The Dihzahyners continue to encourage others to do the same, as well as invite people to join them. We had a few questions to ask them, and here’s how it went…

Since Lana Chukri’s talk at TEDxLAU’s…

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